“Well, for what it’s worth, I love your Instagram. It feels real and never makes me feel bad or inferior even though I think you’re way more put together than I am!”
~stranger on the internet
Someone sent me the message above on instagram. I know it was meant as a compliment. But, I’ve been thinking about her message all week. It is such a LOADED message and like, can we unpack for a second? Is that ok?
1. I love your Instagram , it feels so real
Inherent in this statement is that Instagram is not real. I’ll admit that in many ways it’s not. Of course its not lost on me that curated feeds are not representative of actual everyday life. Of course there is an art to taking pretty pictures- otherwise everyone would be doing it. But, I’m here to remind you that I am VERY MUCH a real person with a real life which i choose to share transparently. What that means is that you will get BOTH ups and downs with me. When I win, we celebrate together. When I’m struggling, my Instagram family is right there with me lifting me up. It’s the reason I am able to freely share that I have a brain tumor. That is my choice because I recognize that my story is bigger than me. Even so, no matter how much I share online, I still get this next sentence…
2. It never makes me feel bad or inferior
Girl! reading this sentence hurt my soul. I really wanted to address it because hard as it is to admit, I’ve been right there with this woman. In that boat of feeling like I’m not “doing it right” . All based on someone else’s highlight reel. I wrote about it here & here as far back as 2016! Seriously, I remember feeling, in the thick of my depression, after my first son was born so worthless as a mom because it wasn’t as exciting and “omg the best thing EVA! ” . Every mommy blogger on the planet seemed to be killing it in the mom game and I, in comparison, didn’t feel beautiful pregnant. It was uncomfortable as heck! I certainly felt like a whale shortly after birth. And the child himself? Well, this tiny human that I had prayed to God for sooooo long, this human had turned my life upside down in one day! It was ALOT. Notice a trend? Yep. I was in a bad place and I was comparing myself to a stranger on the internet🤦🏽. At the time a number of Instagram accounts were making me feel inferior as a mom. If you can relate while reading this;
I’m here to remind you that INSTAGRAM IS A HIGHLIGHT REEL ! Sorry for yelling. But like, just in case you didn’t hear me. You are doing awesome mama. You are enough. And don’t let someone’s life on Instagram tell you different.
YOU ARE ENOUGH!
Remember that it’s always rosy on the outside looking in. Or is it greener? Gosh, Its one of the above. okay!?! Just do like me and unfollow or mute that account(mine included) if its that deep. I’m not even kidding, because, #selfcare.
3. I think you are way more put together than I am
Oooooooh wee! if I could clonk you and MYSELF for thinking this about some women while scrolling through IG🤦🏽… Listen, I am NOT put together. And trust me,this is not me putting myself down. I am a very self-aware 35 year old. Ask my husband. He will tell you that I am as messy a human as they come. Well, Him too! But this is not about him so… 🙂 Lol. My internet big sis Lisa tells me to stop describing myself as messy and tell myself that I am “blessed, strong, capable…”. But, all confidence guru-like assertions aside-I’m not perfect. I don’t claim to be. And in fact, the reason I’m so transparent on my instagram and this blog is because I feel a responsibility to portray my life as it is. I’ve been broke before, I’ve had failed relationships, I’ve had infertility issues, etc. The list is long, but the common thread is that I dust myself off and keep pushing! So if you learn anything from Dee:
Take What Life Throws at you and make it FABULOUS darling !
What you can expect from me is pretty pictures + killer composition + very real, very transparent stories . I like what I like. #SorryNotSorry . Comparison is such a buzz kill isn’t it? But the whole reason I wrote this post is as a reminder that YOU ARE ENOUGH. ok, I’m done. No more yelling. As we say in Ghana “Chop Kiss”. Mwah! 🖤.