I stood there in my swimsuit inwardly cringing. We were at Coney Island taking photos for my blog. My friend remarked at how confident l I looked in the photos she was taking. I smiled, but silently asked myself “will I ever see myself how other people see me?” The more I thought about that, the more disappointed I got because I realized that I have spent many years of my life caring what people thought. Other people’s opinions would affect me so much that I would keep my hair permed for years. I would spend time chasing a profession I had no real interest in because I had a point to prove. I thought about the times past that I would not leave my house without makeup because an ex boyfriend had once commented about it. All of these things run through my mind as I stood there behind the camera—vulnerable.
No one likes to admit that they have these types of feelings but the truth is, I am a work in progress. For a whole week I have wanted to share this but I have been afraid of what you would think. Would you think less of me for being vulnerable? Or think more of me for being strong enough to share? Being that I am writing this post, you probably guessed that I got over that. If you are curious how, you can read my previous post here. If there is one thing I want you to take from this post though, it is that insecurity is completely NORMAL and it DOES NOT last forever. Ok… I lied, I want you to take away two things from this post.
KEEP YOUR HEAD UP Sunshine!
Pictures by the talented Deanna @Throughmyviewfinder