I stood there in my swimsuit while inwardly cringing with every click of her camera. We were at Coney Island taking photos for my blog. With delight, she exclaimed how confident and beautiful I looked in the photos. To myself I silently thought in dismay “will I ever see myself how other people see me?” The more I thought about that, the more disappointed I got because I realized that I have spent many years of my life caring what people thought. Other people’s opinions would affect me so much that I would keep my hair permed for years. I would spend time chasing a profession I had no real interest in because I had a point to prove. I thought about the times past that I would not leave my house without makeup because an ex boyfriend had once commented about it. All of these things run through my mind as I stood there behind the camera—vulnerable.
No one likes to admit that they have these types of feelings but the truth is, I am a work in progress. For a whole week I have wanted to share this but I have been afraid of what you would think. Would you think less of me for being vulnerable? Or think more of me for being strong enough to share? Being that I am writing this post, you probably guessed that I got over that. If you are curious how, you can read my previous post here. If there is one thing I want you to take from this post though, it is that insecurity is completely NORMAL and it DOES NOT last forever. Ok,.So that was two things.
Keep your head up sunshine!
Pictures by the talented Deanna @Throughmyviewfinder